Mid afternoon, Anastasia suddenly collapsed unconscious after a violent seizure. 911 responded quickly and she was taken to St. Vincent hospital. There she was diagnosed as having a large brain hemorrhage at the site of a previously undetected tumor in her right frontal lobe.
The neurosurgeon, Dr. Wayson, and his team operated for 3 hours late Monday night. Anastasia was then moved to the intensive care unit.
A CT scan Wednesday morning showed that the new bleeding has stopped where the brain tumor was removed.
Anastasia continues to sleep. Sometimes she can respond to voices. She cannot move her left arm or leg.
We hope that the new blood will be gradually absorbed, and there will be some return of speech and motor function.
Today we learned that the brain tumor was cancerous. An MRI will be done Thursday to determine if any tumor remains.
The MRI this morning confirmed that all of the brain tumor was removed Monday and that the bleeding has stopped. We continue to hope that the clot in the brain will be absorbed, and there will be return of speech and motor function.
Today, her blood pressure, heart rate, and potassium level were more stable. This afternoon, she got some food, a gray goo. We have been able to remove many of the IV's.
She slept all day with no movement, but that is attributed to the drug used for the MRI preparation. Neurological signs (pupil size, response to light, reaction to pain) satisfy Dr. Wayson, the neurosurgeon, whom I trust greatly.
She got many visitors today, which was wonderful. Tonight, she is listening to Mozart, which the thoughtful staff helped me to arrange.
But, the MRI revealed a second tumor, in the left cerebellum. The medical team has begun work on a recommendation.
Today was a good day. A very good day.
This morning, Anastasia began speaking, was taken off critical and moved from intensive care to a regular room.
When she saw me, she remembered it's my birthday, and began singing Happy Birthday.
She got lots of visitors today and was able to talk to nearly everyone. Her room is filling with flowers and cards. It is a happy place.
Dr. Wayson says it is too early to estimate when she will come home. Speech and physical therapy are to be determined. But she will come home.
Also, we now can wait two weeks before making decisions about anticoagulants. That is valuable time for the hemorrhage to be absorbed and the trauma to subside.
We will worry about the cancer another day.
Today was a good day. A very good day.
Saturday was another good day.
In the morning, Anastasia had a speech and movement examination. She did darn well. As a result, she got to eat some hospital food. Lunch was mashed potatoes and turkey gravy. It is good to be chewing, she said, but she wants her friend Angie's mashed potatoes instead.
Also, she was able to stand, with assistance from two nurses. This is good because the muscles in her left leg and overall balance will benefit.
After the morning exam, she spent most of the day napping.
Many visitors came by, and she loved waking up and talking. The room is full of flowers and cards, which is very cheery. I put Anastasia's painting of her mother on the wall, which I hope she will be able to notice soon.
She is confused about a few things, but she did cross examine me about several of my to-do-list items, so the real Anastasia is evident.
Thank you, everyone, for your wonderful support and warm thoughts. They are helping her get better.
Sunday was a busy day.
Anastasia had physical therapy twice. She has "leftside neglect": her brain has forgotten that she has a left side. But, when reminded, she can move her left arm some and her left leg a tiny bit. Practice will help. She will no doubt be a disciplined patient.
She also had a bath, which felt great. After that, we put her favorite Bach on the player, and she napped.
She had many visitors today, which was great. Everyone was excited to hear her voice.
This evening, we had a birthday party. Anastasia's Happy Birthday song on Friday reminded friends of my event, so they brought cake and other treats. The nurses were delighted to get the leftovers.
More progress today, one week after the hemorrhage.
As I explained yesterday, Anastasia has "left side neglect": her brain has forgotten that she has a left side. But, as I predicted, she is a determined girl. Today she was able to stand with a walker and perambulate a bit in the hallway. It was wonderful to see her favorite little pink booties shuffling along.
Again, she had many visitors today. Keep coming or calling. The doctor says stimulation is good.
Your visits and prayers are making a difference. Today, both eyes were open and pointed in the same direction. Sentences were longer and more complex. She read some of the wonderful email that has poured in. Don't be surprised if she tries to call you this week. Great stuff.
More progress today. Visitors and staff alike were quite pleased. They saw several nice improvements including sitting up, longer sentences, and spontaneous left arm movement.
Indeed, today Anastasia mastered the telephone to make calls. Right away, she wanted to call everyone and thank them for the wonderful thoughts that have helped her so much. So, you may have a somewhat rambling message from my Princess on your machine. And, if you haven't yet, you may have been among the cards that fell under the bed.
Your thoughts have been so therapeutic, Anastasia has an idea. She requests a "Circle of Prayer and Love Around the World". If you will send your thoughts toward her at 9 AM PST each day for awhile, know that she will be concentrating to grab them and get stronger. She hopes to feel thoughts from the United States, South America, and Europe. In her words, "I'll find my friends halfway and some magic might happen".
For tomorrow, the plan is to move her to a skilled nursing facility for speech and physical therapy.
The "Circle of Prayer and Love Around the World" worked well today. Anastasia told me she felt some healing power between 9 and 10 AM this morning, as hoped. And, right afterwards, she got some exciting phone calls from lost friends in Argentina.
Keep it up! For details about the Circle, see the messages page.
A slight change of plans today, perhaps because of the Circle. As I said yesterday, Anastasia was to move today into a facility for speech and physical therapy. But, today she was tested for admission into the Rehabilitation Institute of Oregon, where she would get intensive therapy to help her progress more rapidly.
Well, as we all know, Anastasia does darn well on tests, so in she goes! Tomorrow, I will provide details of visiting while she is at the Institute.
Today, Anastasia moved to the Rehabilitation Institute of Oregon. The Institute is part of the Good Samaritan Hospital, located in downtown Portland.
The plan is to get my Princess strong enough to come home in about a week. Each day she will get exercise and instruction for big things (such as standing and walking) and little things (such as eating and washing). Concurrently, she will begin her radiation treatments. By fortuitous accident those treatments are also at Good Samaritan. The radiation treatments will continue every day for four weeks.
The regime will be very tiring. Consequently, the staff requests that Anastasia get few visitors while at the Institute. During breaks she is supposed to rest. So, please check with me before visiting.
But, please keep the "Circle of Prayer and Love Around the World" going! It is working. Today for example, I could see a neat little sparkle in Anastasia after the Circle at 9 AM. It gave her essential energy to make the complicated move to the Institute later in the day. Anastasia said "I felt warm vibrations; I reached out and grabbed and hugged them". There is indeed more to the universe than we yet understand. See the messages page for how to participate.
Again, thank you, everyone, for your love and support.
Friday began with Anastasia's first radiation treatment. She will receive 15 treatments over the next three weeks. Each treatment will irradiate the last lumbar vertebra plus the whole brain. The spinal plan had already been made, so we were ready for that to begin. Today we learned what the brain radiation will add: hair loss, more and different tiredness, and possible cognitive loss. My Princess was scared. After approving the plan, she squeezed my hand tightly while repeating quietly "I can do it, I can do it".
Afterwards, we paused for a moment on the sky bridge between buildings to look outside for the first time in 12 days. The sun was shining over Portland and we could see the arching Fremont bridge with snowy mountains just visible in the distance.
Then, back into a building for physical therapies. The earlier radiation treatment was in a world of large machines, strange noises, and flashing screens. Now we were in a quiet linoleum hallway with just a cane and a little wooden platform 2 inches high. Anastasia practiced standing up from her wheelchair and then lifting a foot onto the platform. I could hear her tired thoughts "I can do it, I can do it".
Please keep the "Circle of Prayer and Love Around the World" going. Each morning, after the appointed time, Anastasia has smiled at me and said "I can feel my friends". See the messages page for how to participate.
During the weekend, she will continue therapy, but at a reduced level. This is a good plan, because she tires quickly.
Today, Anastasia focused on her therapies, repeating again "I can do it, I can do it".
Walking is a challenge, but she is practicing hard. Focus is another problem. She is having difficulty completing simple attention tasks, such as finding the letter "f" in a sequence of letters. Her memory is shaky also. But, the staff is expert and provide many suggestions. I see daily improvements and hope they will continue. And, she is comforted by the claim from several friends that with half a brain she will still be smarter than many of them.
As I push Anastasia's wheelchair around the Institute, she makes a striking figure. On her head is a stylish red felt hat from her husband. All the nurses have commented on my good taste. On her shoulder is a "love monkey" from her friend, Mark. The monkey is adorable; his long arms wrap around Anstasia's neck in a soft hug. He has been with her constantly since the second day in the ICU. His warm embrace is a reminder of her many friends.
Anastasia tires very easily, so has several breaks during the day to lie down and rest. To pass the time, she is reading John Grisham's books again. The nurses tell me that she is the first patient at the Institute who reads instead of watches TV. The staff is amazed and pleased.
Please keep the "Circle of Prayer and Love Around the World" going. Anastasia gains strength each day from the Circle. See the messages page for how to participate.
This week, Anastasia will attempt to write a message herself that I will post here.
Today, Anastasia and I worked together all day at the Institute. We practiced a range of daily activities: walking up stairs, turning corners, getting into bed, and so forth. We will continue this routine for several days.
My role is "balance insurance"; it's nice to have an excuse to always have a hand on my wife's hip.
We were especially good at going down stairs, with her a step above and me a step below. We have practiced this arrangement for 25 years -- it is how we overcome our height difference for a nice long kiss.
Oh, and the staples in her head were removed right after lunch. Sounds gruesome, but the procedure was quick and painless. She will have a Pirate scar from top of her head to below her right ear. It will be hidden by her hair eventually.
The big news is that she will be coming home Friday evening.
I will be staying with her Wednesday night, so we can practice a full 24 hour cycle. The Institute is pretty thorough! So, my next update will be Thursday night.
Please keep the "Circle of Prayer and Love Around the World" going. Anastasia continues to gain strength each day from the Circle, especially as she learns how many people are participating. See the messages page for how to join.
Anastasia has prepared a message herself that I will post here soon.
Let's see ...
My sleep-over at the Institute went smoothly, I've been checked out by the Institute staff as Anastasia'a assistant, an outpatient schedule is in place, a home care assistance agency is coming online, the medical equipment is on the truck, elves have made the guest quarters comfortable for Anastasia, and Friday evening dinner will magically appear at the right moment.
So, we are good to go: Anastasia will be released from the Institute Friday evening and will return home.
The "Circle of Prayer and Love Around the World" must be helping, for sure. Anastasia was touched to learn of entire congregations that are praying in several states plus Argentina. See the messages page for how to join the Circle.
Anastasia has prepared a message that I will post here as soon as I can.
My Princess is back home.
As I write this, Anastasia is sleeping quietly downstairs.
She is in our new guest bedroom that she designed and decorated. It is a pleasant soothing place. She is surrounded by pretty flowers, fluffy pillows, a friendly teddy bear, and her love monkey. A nice lady from a home care agency is watching over my sweetie tonight.
In the morning, I will prepare Anastasia's favorite breakfast: oatmeal, raisins, and yogurt cooked and stirred just so. We will eat together in the little kitchen next to her room. The sun may shine in the windows; or if not, we will listen to the rain.
We don't know what lies ahead. Each day is a gift.
Tomorrow, I will post a message she composed while in the hospital. I'll also start work on a method for visiting her and running errands.
Thank you, everyone, who have helped her get home with your thoughts and prayers.
A very nice day.
Anastasia slept well back in her own home. Emma and Valerie, the nice home care assistants, watched over her at night and helped her in the morning. My Princess pronounced my oatmeal preparation excellent and we enjoyed a pleasant breakfast while watching the fog slowly clear from the trees outside.
Later, the sun appeared and we rolled her wheelchair outside to inspect her new garden. It was nice to feel the breeze and to see the new life beginning to grow.
Then another Grisham finished, Time to Kill. I'm running low on material to keep the pipeline full; any suggestions?
The day ended with a visit from my sister Kathy and her family. Lots of warmth and giggles.
I have entered the message that Anastasia wrote while in the hospital. She wants to tell everyone how much your thoughts and prayers have helped her.
A day of wonderful visits.
First, my sister Kathy and her family spent the day with us. The house was full of giggles and warmth. Anastasia talked quietly with her two nieces for a long time.
Then, our great friends Mark and Angie dropped by to report on their snowshoe adventure at Bend. After a little discussion, we all decided that maybe their legs were more sore than Anastasia's.
In the evening, Anastasia announced she wanted to watch some television. As we all know, my Princess is pretty unstoppable when she makes a decision. I was apprehensive, but she was able to navigate three steps down into the media room and back up. She feel asleep during the show but enjoyed the experience.
This coming week, we will continue radiation treatments plus begin some doctor visits. I may have some news to report later this week. I also intend to post some photographs of Anastasia.
We are settling into an efficient routine.
In the evening, a helper from the No Worries home care agency arrives. She assists Anastasia with getting to bed and watches over her during the night. Another helper arrives in the morning and helps my Princess awake. I prepare Anastasia's special oatmeal and we eat in the sitting room next to her bedroom.
Then, off to radiation treatment. Anastasia can now use the walker to get to the car. The treatment takes about 15 minutes once she is on the table at the hospital, but the whole exercise takes us about 2 hours. I'll post some details about the radiation later. She is halfway through.
Back at the house, Anastasia has lunch and a little rest while I practice my developing kitchen and laundry skills. Then a therapist arrives or we visit a doctor. Afterwards, she walks with the walker. Our goal is 10 continuous minutes. The afternoon ends with naps and visits from friends.
About 6 o'clock, a dinner magically arrives, as orchestrated by our very organized Food Captain. (See the visits & helping page for details). Then, Anastasia reads a few more chapters of her current Grisham book while I attend to administrative tasks and listen via a baby monitor (terrific technology!).
Thursday and Friday were busy with several therapist visits, a doctor consultation, and radiation treatments.
In coming weeks, she will get visits from three separate therapists, plus a home health aide. I will provide details next week.
We consulted with Dr. Delbaum, Anastasia's cardiologist, and made a decision about her anticoagulants.
But right now, the excitement is that the radiation will end next Wednesday. There have been many inquiries about the radiation, so I've prepared a brief description.
Friday, Anastasia enjoyed a bit of sunshine on our deck and I took a snapshot.
Many friends dropped by this week, which buoyed both my Princess and her attendant. Per their suggestions, I have updated the visits and helping page.
Wednesday, Anastasia graduated. She had her last radiation treatment. She asked the staff for a cap and gown to mark the occasion. They weren't prepared for her request, but they presented her radiation mask as a trophy.
The radiation has begun its primary job of pain reduction. Anastasia still takes morphine, but at half the level of three weeks ago. And, the pain should continue to gradually decrease.
In two weeks we will meet again with Anastasia's oncologist. Then we hope to clarify her prognosis and perhaps discuss chemotherapy.
Monday, the radiation side effects arrived, right on schedule. Anastasia's hair began falling out in big clumps. I'm teasing her that it is like having a cat that is shedding. To this she winks and says "meow".
Fatigue also arrived. Often, Anastasia finds it hard to stay awake at all. The doctors don't understand the physiology of the fatigue. We can do nothing but let her body slowly recover over the coming months.
The drugs also have side effects. One drug has swelled her cheeks into cute plumpness. Another drug has produced intense itching everywhere, especially on her scalp. Also, she is having a bit of difficulty breathing right now, so we have installed an oxygen assist.
Norberto Kerzman, her first husband, is visiting this week. He is kind and caring. As I write this, he is sitting patiently by Anastasia's bed and talking gently with her each time she wakes up.
Anastasia's spirit continues to shine brightly. She treasures each day, hugs her monkey, and repeats "I can do it".
I asked Anastasia what she would like to say this week on the web site. Her reply: "It's nice to be home".
Indeed, it is nice. In the morning, Anastasia naps after her oatmeal and exercises. Sunshine often streams in her window. The oxygen concentrator hums in the background while her favorite radio station, KPBS, plays music by her bed. Her monkey, Pimiento, snuggles by her shoulder. Anastasia's portrait of her mother watches serenely.
In the afternoon, Anastasia's energy increases. She walks a bit out on the deck and enjoys some fresh air. Visitors drop by and she chats and jokes. After a lovely dinner brought by smiling elves, she reads her book. She has consumed all the Grisham books so has moved onto Ken Follett. The Pillars of the Earth, at 1075 pages, will take awhile.
But, not all is perfect. My Princess requires me to report: "Roger won't let me walk up the stairs to the main floor". This is indeed true, since those stairs are long and steep. But her humble servant is working on the problem. Soon, she can travel to her piano or to her art studio via a new sidewalk outside the house and the results of some reorganization by the movers.
Saturday, Norberto Kerzman, her first husband, returned to Chapel Hill where his mathematics classes await. Anastasia enjoyed remembering with him the far away days of graduate school. I enjoyed trying to grasp his new idea for Fourier transforms. His kind and caring presence buoyed our spirits. Come back soon, Norberto.
This week has been quiet.
The radiation treatments left Anastasia very tired. She uses oxygen when in bed; she generally rests peacefully. Most days, my Princess sleeps until early afternoon. The fatigue will likely continue for several months.
I'm tired, too. I need to obey the kind suggestions from friends and counselors for resting.
Anastasia's energy increases after lunch. Then, she practices her physical and speech therapies. She is pretty diligent, and I can see gradual improvement in her strength and sharpness. The therapies are interesting, so I've written a brief description.
In the late afternoon and early evening, she has visitors or talks on the phone. Chats and joking are great for her. Visit or call if you can!
Next week will be busy with important visits to her neurosurgeon, oncologist, and counselor. We hope to learn more about Anastasia's prognosis and options.
Our Food Captain and her elves continue to bring us dinners. Thank you, elves!
Anastasia has decided to begin chemotherapy.
She is scared. Six years ago, she had surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. It was rough. Now all of that again.
And this time, the chemotherapy is Taxol, a drug that can be especially debilitating. Many women are unable to tolerate it. I've prepared a summary of its history and effects.
But, being scared has never stopped my Princess before.
Her first treatment is Friday, April 2. A treatment requires 4 hours of IV injection, then 3 weeks of recovery. The plan is two treatments and then an evaluation. If she responds to the drug and can tolerate it, treatment will continue indefinitely.
Anastasia asks for renewed Circle power (see "messages"). She needs your thoughts and prayers
Anastasia had her first chemotherapy treatment Friday, April 2, without incident.
The procedure took 5 hours. The drug, Taxol, must be injected very slowly. The nurses filled Anastasia with Benadryl first, so she dozed most of the time. I held her hand and her monkey kept a tight grip around her neck.
The treatment was at the Kaiser oncology department here in Portland. The infusion
room is sunny and quiet with a big window looking out over some trees. There
were about 25 other patients, some in comfortable chairs and others, like Anastasia,
in beds. I found the scene inspiring. Everyone had a certain demeanor I can
only describe as "This also I can do".
Taxol side effects follow a schedule, we are told. First, starting Monday, there
will be aching, soreness, tiredness, and a bit of nausea. Second, in about two
weeks, neuropathy will appear. The plan continues to be two treatments, then
an evaluation. The next treatment is April 23.
Her spirits continue to be good. I do note more confusion about short term things,
but she is very tired. A nice lady, who Anastasia helped through breast cancer
treatment, has volunteered to be Anastasia's cancer buddy. Thank you, Renee.
Anastasia's appetite continues to change, so again I've updated her dinner preferences. She continues to ask for renewed Circle power (see "messages"). Thank you, for your thoughts and prayers.
Anastasia had her first chemotherapy treatment Friday, April 2, without incident. This week she has been recovering.
As expected, she is very tired. The chemotherapy attacks growing tissues, not just cancer cells, so her body is working hard to rebuild. She sleeps about 16 hours a day. Every few days, she perks up in the afternoon. Then, using her walker, she walks outside on the deck by the garden.
Wednesday, she walked 8 times up and back on the deck without stopping, twice the count of three weeks ago. Easter, inspired by the wonderful weather, my Princess commanded to be pushed into the garden. There, she walked about inspecting her domain. Indeed, her servant must now be quite vigilant. Once, while my back was turned, she disappeared from the deck. I found her in the driveway. Bad girl! (But, good progress).
To help her body rebuild, she must eat lots of protein. First, we experimented with liquid protein drinks, such as Ensure. Yuck! Then, Instant Breakfast. Phew! Weight lifter protein powder mixed with milk? Maybe. The kitchen staff continues to experiment. Preliminary results are encouraging for a potion of powder, whole milk, ice cream, bananas, and frozen orange juice.
In this regard, the Food Captain and her team did a great job this last week. The various dinners emphasizing chicken and cheese and eggs, in various combinations, met with approval. And the visits were great too!
Other chemotherapy side effects have included muscle aches and some nausea. Later this week, neuropathy will probably appear. This syndrome - tingling and numbness in legs and hands - can be mild or severe. We just have to see what comes.
The plan continues to be two chemotherapy treatments, then an evaluation. The next treatment is April 23.
The week began with an MRI scan. Not fun. I've prepared a description of the procedure. We should get results later this week.
But the week improved as her chemotherapy tiredness receeded a bit and the neuropathy symptoms did not yet appear. She was stronger and smarter than last week.
For example, she graduated from Speech Therapy. My Princess was "appropriate", which pleased her therapist immensely. For example, as we discussed her progress, Anastasia, with a sweet little smile and cherubic folded hands, announced that she followed instructions well because she is a little Catholic girl. The therapist laughed so hard that Anastasia's graduation was ensured.
In addition to making jokes, Anastasia did more walking with her walker. The highlight was a wander about her garden. As always, she had her red hat and love monkey. Click on "photos" below to see a couple of snapshots.
Friday, she meets with her oncologist and gets the second Taxol treatment.
Friday, Anastasia had her second chemotherapy treatment. It was a long day. We left the house at 8:30 and returned at 4:30. But, she was a model patient, as always. The Kaiser doctors, nurses and pharmacists are most solicitous and kind.
So far, Anastasia is tolerating the treatments well. She is often very tired, of course. Nausea continues to gradually increase, but we have added a new medication to her mix that may help. We are now up to 13 distinct chemicals each day. Fortunately, neuropathy symptoms - tingling and numbness - are still mild. As hoped, the treatments have reduced her pain a bit further, allowing us to reduce the morphine dosage.
We were happy to learn the results of a recent CT scan of her lungs and liver. The mysterious lung growth has shrunk a small amount. Her liver is clear, thank goodness. We do not have the brain MRI results yet.
Several visitors dropped by this week. These visits are rejuvenating for us both. Click on "visits" below and come by!
Perhaps because of the wonderful spring weather, my Princess had a burst of energy just before the chemotherapy treatment. As she commanded, her art studio was moved to the downstairs workshop. There, she painted a bit. Click on "photos" below to see a couple of snapshots.
The new studio will be a nice place to work. There is room for her wheelchair. Her garden is visible outside a big window. Big screen doors bring in soft breezes and the gurgle of a fountain. I hope she can return there soon.
This week is easily summarized: sleep.
Anastasia has been sleeping 16 hours a day since her second chemotherapy treatment, Friday, April 23. As I have explained, the chemotherapy drug kills growing cells throughout her body. Rebuilding the impaired tissues uses all her energy.
Nausea and neuropathy side effects continue to be relatively mild. The Kaiser team has given Anastasia what might help, including the famous little pink Anzemet pills ($60 each!).
Anastasia's appetite continues to be OK, albeit reduced from normal levels. As is perhaps appropriate to her status, my Princess is now highly sensitive to certain smells and flavors.
We do not have the brain MRI results yet, due to an administrative glitch.
Today, Sunday, Anastasia's energy increased. Indeed, I am writing this quite late since my Princess refused to retire to her chambers but instead demanded that the media room be activated for her pleasure. I hope the coming days will have more of such feisty behavior.
This week, we will meet with her oncologist. We will review progress and Anastasia will decide whether to continue chemotherapy.
This last week has been difficult.
Anastasia is exhausted and weaker. She can walk less. Hand tremors have returned. Sleep is often restless. Mental confusion has increased. Speech is more slurred. The morphine sometimes induces hallucinations of insects crawling everywhere.
She says her monkey is sad. I think she is describing herself.
I hope these difficulties are due to the chemotherapy and will gradually diminish. Indeed, her energy increased Friday and Saturday. Friday, she visited her garden again (see photos). Saturday, she made some jokes (about bathroom routines, so I cannot repeat them here!).
Midweek, we met with her oncologist to decide if Anastasia will continue the chemotherapy. We learned that the latest MRI shows yet another brain tumor. The tumor is small and perhaps was always there. A CT scan of her lung was inconclusive about the effectiveness of the therapy.
As always, my Princess is determined. What needs to be done, will be done. So, more chemotherapy.
The next treatment is Friday, May 14.
Anastasia is unconscious.
Saturday night, she suffered a stroke. A blood clot is lodged somewhere in her brain. She is unable to move, speak, or respond.
As I write this, she is at St. Vincent hospital for overnight observation. The same nurses who watched over her so carefully, after her surgery in February, watch over her now.
Monday morning, after consultation with the doctor, I will decide what to do.
It is unlikely that any measures are possible. She will probably never regain consciousness. I will bring her home to hold her during her last few days.
Please, Princess, just once more hear my voice and squeeze my hand.
Anastasia is at home.
She is now in hospice care, per her previous instructions.
My Princess will have a comfortable and dignified death. I will be holding her hand.
Late last night, in the emergency room, she rallied, awakened, recognized me, and tried to smile. Then, after that moment, she fell into a stupor - a state between sleep and wakefulness with uncertain awareness.
That condition continued unchanged today, as I sat with her in the hospital. I told her many things, things which she already knows, but should hear again. I hope she heard, at least a bit.
The doctors and nurses tell me that during the next 2 to 3 days, the stupor will deepen into a coma, and then within a week she will slip away.
Please visit, to say goodbye to my Princess. Our house will be open from 9AM to 9PM each day. Family and friends from near and far will be here. No need to call. A nurse assistant will always be nearby to ensure Anastasia is comfortable and safe.
I leave now to hold her hand into the night.